"Not Me" Monday

We mothers of 4 seem to need extra outlets. One mother of 4 came up with a great blog idea called "Not Me" Monday. In this, you tell what you "didn't do" that week. It's about being brutally honest. I don't usually have a problem with that, it's very theraputic (both reading and writing). It's also nice to know the things that other moms would normally never admit they do, just so you know you're not alone in this crazy life of motherhood. For a good laugh, or a sense of relief, you can find more on her blog.

So... here goes. My very first, and surely not the last, Not Me Monday.

1. I did not spend all night last Monday reading “Not Me” blogs until it was too late to write my own.
2. I did not check the washer to make sure there was a load in there that might rot after reading about so many other moms who did this. Because this has NEVER happened to me before. And of coarse, there was most certainly not a load in there.
3. I did not then spend all night awake in bed thinking about what I could write for my Not Me post, and was not thinking about actually getting up at 3am to go write one. No, that would be ridiculous.
4. I did not then create a Word doc the next morning so that I wouldn’t forget all my “not me’s”. Because I never forget anything, especially what I did, ate, or where I went the previous day. Or that day, for that matter. No, I am an elephant (and that means great memory, no fat pun intended.)
5. I did not yell out to my children in Walmart, “good, run off, then you can get lost and cry and I can laugh.” No cuz that would be REALLY mean and unloving. And of course, there were not people looking at me like I was unfit.
6. I did not get the Sunday lunch buffet at Green Mill just so I could get all my children’s meals for free. No, that would be a form of free loading. Especially since I love buffet’s. Not!
7. I did not find my children scrubbing the window sill with my toothbrush while I was distracted with an online chat on FB. No, because I am always conscious of my children’s activities.
8. I did not bust out the Halloween candy to distract my children so I could finish said FB chat. No way, not a good example.
9. I did not allow my youngest daughter to run around diaperless, and I was not enjoying watching her cute chubby little butt cheeks jiggle, only to have her poop (diarrhea) on my rug. No. That would be irresponsible, all together too dangerous, and gross.
10. I did not take a nap while I was sick, though my my children were awake, because that would mean they were unattended, and I would never do that.
11. I did not find my house covered in raisins after this nap I did not take. And I did not save some of the raisins that didn’t have too much hair or dirt on them, because I can’t help myself in being not wasteful.
12. I did not make the mistake of having a cup of coffee at 9pm, only to be still awake at 5:30 am when my husband left for deer hunting.
13. I did not have a family acquaintance rub my belly, and ask if I was pregnant again. Then, after my embarrassed but adamant reply that “NO I was not having any more kids, this is just post-baby leftovers,” he most certainly did not reply with “well, a few thousand sit-ups should take care of that.” I did not turn a few shades of red like my face hasn’t seen in decades.

I hope you have all enjoyed this, perhaps gained some perspective on what motherhood is really like. I hope to make Not Me Monday a habit. Again, if any of you feels that I am not qualified to be a mother, I encourage you to spend a day at my house, and then call DHS if you still feel the need to do so.