Child Uncensored

There is a certain amount of time, while your children are little, that you can get away with A LOT in terms of your conversations, things on tv, even possible expletives (which of coarse I never say). As they get older, developing their own verbal skills, you need to be more careful of what you say and what they hear. This is usually learned when a line has been crossed and you hear something come out of your child's mouth that just plain shouldn't. The trick is to not react. Because then you draw attention to an unsavory behavior or catch phrase that you'd rather they not mimic in church or at preschool. And once they realize that what they just did made mom and dad laugh, or they got in big trouble, then they will be more likely to repeat it for such an effect.

We have done pretty well in keeping our children from such delicate language experiences, and have done really well in handling them when they have come. We are, however, experiencing new levels of awareness on the part of our almost 5 year old. Conversations, of late, about topics you don't want the whole of Walmart to know about (like guns, and guns, and hunting, and guns...) have been listened to by a certain child, and repeated... in Walmart. Or the gun store. And of coarse, children don't tend to talk quietly.

At least this one was at home. (And just to preface this, why in the dickens do they have this show on at the dinner hour?) My hubby and I were sitting in our living room this evening. The girls were playing, the baby was snoozing, B-boy was sitting next to daddy, the tv was on, but we were mostly spacing out. Friends was on. I love that show. Even when I've seen an episode 4 times, it's still usually good enough for a giggle or two. I have noticed, though, that they really do talk about a lot of adult topics. Well, my kids don't really pay attention to that. ha. ha. So we thought.

As the story goes, Rachel is mad that Ross is flirting with the gal at the baby furniture store. This attractive female comes to their apartment to "pick up" Ross. Rachel overhears and (not quietly) mutters (and sorry for this, close your ears, any tender readers) "horny bitch." Well, my darling oh-so-much-more-observant-than-we-realize son starts saying "mommy, you're a h.b." "Daddy, you're a h.b." "(sister)'s a h.b." But of coarse, little kids never get it right, which made it that much more hilarious to me, and he's actually saying hardy b. I happened to be folding laundry during this episode, and was incredibly thankful that I was able to hold up a t-shirt I was folding, to shield my face, because I could NOT stop laughing. Hubby did pretty well keeping his laughter disguised and to a minimum. I was not. I even had tears rolling down my face. Oh, wait, did I say I was laughing? OH, no, I meant crying in utter shame and disbelief that my son would actually have those words coming out of his mouth, because that is what any God-fearing responsible parent would do, right? Ok. Whatever.

I imagine we have heard the last of that phrase. We also, by the way, have seen the last of Friends, while our children are present.