So to get to the point, I'm once again joining in on today's blog carnival, Not Me, Monday. Gotta love that weekly confessional. Er, I mean, day when you imagine all the things you could never do. Ahem. Right? Check out MckMama's blog for more fun and fantasy. Because these are things you could only imagine ever doing.
I did not have a puker TWICE this week, in the van. The first time would most certainly NOT be from drinking rancid apple juice left in the car from an outing 5 days earlier. Because I always have a neat and tidy car, never a speck of dirt gracing the floors or seats, ever! I never just leave the garbage in there till you basically can't "walk". And I certainly make sure my small children are adequately hydrated so they would not need to drink rancid apple juice.
I do not have 2 puke-covered car seats sitting on my front lawn. How redneck hillbilly would that be? Ha.
I did not go to a garage sale to buy clothes for a child who had puked all over herself so that I could then take her to the grocery store in something other than her diaper and sandals.
I did not walk around the entire rest of the day with a smear of barf on the boob of my shirt. It is not the best perfume ever!
I did not fully enjoy myself at our local town festival, having my share of "liquid happy", LOVE hanging out with my husband for some adults only time, and getting home at 2 am! I would never do that to my babysitter. We also did not wish that we could
I did not come home and FB in my happy state. Isn't there some rule about "dialing" that also applies to FB?
I did not wake up the next morning dizzy, and then proceed to drag all 4 of my chillen's down to to the turtle races and fire truck rides at 9:30 the next morning. My dearest hubby was not still dead to the world when we returned at 11.
I did not let my children go on the "water ride" at the festivities, fully dressed, instead of walking the 2 blocks home so they could change into more appropriate swimwear. I am not that lazy.
I did not heard my 5 yr old son, say at the turtle races (it's more exciting than it sounds) and DURING THE PARADE WHERE PEOPLE WERE THROWING HANDFULS OF CANDY AT HIM that "this is boring." WHAT is WRONG with you, child????
I am not totally struggling to keep myself from