What the heck, Monday.

I haven't done a NMM (Not Me Monday) in a while. I am not even really sure what to write about, so it will be interesting to see what my brain comes up with as I do this. But since it's been a while, and MckMama's was particularly great today, I figured, what the heck. Why not. I feel a little inspired.

So here it is, in all it's glory. The infamous, fabulously fun and hugely hilarious, completely theraputic, more-honest-than-I-outta-be, creatively, cringe inducing Not Me Monday blog carnival, where you spill your guts about those things that most certainly did not happen in your life.

I did not recently start South Beach diet, unable to weigh myself properly, and just take the number I had from the last time I was at the dr's office, regardless of the fact that it was towards the end of the day and I was fully dressed with shoes on. This will not result in a higher number than it probably was, so that I will be more likely to achieve my goal of losing 15 lbs by my birthday.

On the same vane of dieting, I did not have a mini-breakdown after a rather rough day of mothering and CHEAT by eating a HOT DOG, with BREAD, aaaand KETCHUP! (Scandalous, I know!) And then follow it up with 2 spoons of the totally awesome caramel sauce I was using to make the Better than Whoopee cake for my husband's birthday. I do not stress eat.

Lil'D did not get his first taste of meat by finding a hot dog on the floor under the table. Since he didn't seem to be enjoying it, I did not then just wash it off, cut it up, and serve it to him. Hot dogs? From the floor? Why, I would NEVER!

I did not cave in to my husbands "need" for more of our tax return fund so that I then could justify spending $300 on myself for a plane ticket to go to a college reunion for a college I didn't graduate from. I am not that suckered or selfish as to squander away more funds from the rapidly dwindling "house" money.

I did not obsess so much over the plant placement of my garden as to measure it, grid it, and then write it all down and ask for my dad's input (the Master Gardener). He did not tell me to do exactly as I had thought. My husband did not say I was making it way more difficult than it needs to be. I did not respond by saying that No, I am just more particular than you would be. And then I did not realize he was probably right when my dad then told me to do exactly what I had thought in the first place. I'm not ever obsessive, nor do I have a problem admitting I'm wrong (or more specifically, that HE's right).

I did not find my children "riding" the garage door to my neighbors garage last night (you know, one kid hanging one, the other pushing the garage door opener button). I did not get furious, spank them and send them to bed. I would not be totally embarrassed for my neighbor to know that. She does not read my blog. (Sorry, Lis. **bows head in shame, walks away**)

As I write this, I am not letting my daughter eat peanut butter straight from the jar, with her fingers, in the living room.

Whew. Now that that's finished, I gotta eat. Oh, and fix lunch for the kids, too, I suppose. Especially since they're eating my sacred sugar-free fudgecicles. Is NOTHING sacred for mothers???

Happy Monday. I love Mondays. really. I do. Don't hate me.