Thursday, May 5, 2011

"Feeling Overwhelmed?"... You think?

**Warning: Sarcasm laden and snarky attitude can be found prolifically in this post.

I am on a mailing list for Oprah's email newletter. I usually don't read them. (Sorry, Oprah). Mostly, I just don't have time to read every blasted thing that I stupidly signed up for, and often times it just doesn't fit for my life.

Today, I was caught by the headline and suckered in. "Feeling Overwhelmed? Ask Yourself These 12 Questions." Please notice, it did not say "What to do if you feel overwhelmed." Thing is, I already know I'm overwhelmed. Helloooooo! I have five children age 7 and under. I'm the very definition of overwhelmed. (and I'd like to blame it on my husband. This is all his fault. He did this to me. I had no part in it. Ok, I had some part in it. But it's easier just to blame him today. grin. And he never reads my blog, he's so supportive that way, so he'll never know. smirk.)

Where was I? Oh yeah. Oprah.

I read the article, and while most of it was totally not helpful, and didn't really pertain to me as a SAHM, I did like this quote:

Being busy or not busy is an interpretation of our activity. Busy-ness is a state of mind, not a fact. No matter how much or how little we're doing, we're always just doing what we're doing, simply living this one moment of our lives. –Norman Fischer*

Which is basically to say, that my feeling of being overwhelmed is all in my head. :P Yeah, I guess. It's a state of mind. What happens when you're losing yours? (And if you can answer that, please contact me. Thanks!)

So I get to the end of the article, and there are some suggestions on related articlesyou may like. Aw, thanks for the suggestions, Oprah. Cuz this one spoke to me: Five Ways To Get A Life. Gee thanks. (Please note the dripping snark and sarcasm here. And yet, there's truth to that need. sigh)

I got to this section and just about died laughing.
Avoid multitasking. Recent studies show that it can take the brain twice as long to process each thing it's working on when switching back and forth between activities. By learning to focus fully on one project at a time, you can regain the extra hour or two you crave. Just don't squander it on mundane chores!**
Really? Hello? I'm 1. a  woman, and 2. a mom. Multitasking is my life. However, this may explain why my brain isn't functioning properly, why I "think" I'm busy and overwhelmed, and why nothing ever gets finished, and why everything I do takes so stinking long. Of coarse it has NOTHING to do with 5 small children and a demanding spouse constantly interrupting me. Bwahahaha! Granted, multitasking is the reason I have burnt at least one piece of toast daily for the last 2 years. Getting a new toaster could help, but nevermind that. There's also the issue of that forgotten load of laundry that makes it's presence (still in the washing machine) known by the unsavory odor that fills the laundry room and kitchen. Because, see, if I just focused on getting that one load of laundry done, and just had the all other tasks wait (I mean, who needs to eat, and baby can sit in a poopy diaper for another hour and a half, right?) then that wouldn't happen.

The last line in that quote also killed me. Mundane chores. My life is filled with mundane chores. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be a mom and know I'm "priviledged" (not that it usually feels like it) to be able to stay home with my monkeys, but there's not a lot exciting about vacuuming, dishes, laundry, sweeping and picking up toys. So apparently, my life is squandered. Who knew?

And I'm REALLY interested in gaining back those one or two hours I crave that were lost by multitasking. Serious. I REALY am. I'd probably have to use them to do more mundane chores, though.

Now, to end that article on a very nice note, one of the last tips was this:
Break the habit of total self-reliance. Insisting on doing everything yourself burdens you and prevents others from feeling valuable and needed. Delegate more at home and at work, and free your time for things you love and excel at.**
Bwaaahhaaahhaaa... hahaaaahhaaaaahaha.... gasp gasp hahaha ahhahahahahaha  ahhaha O gosh, help me Rhonda. hahahahahahahah

Sorry. Just give me a moment to compose myself here.


Ok. Deep breath. I think I'm done... oh wait. hahaha... Ok. phew. Now. What was I saying?

I can pretty much guarantee you that King Kong in no. way. whatsofreeking ever feels prevented from feeling valuable and needed by my lack of, ahem, "delegating" my "mundane tasks." And that I insist that I do it all myself? haha. Yeah, right. I'm sure the new "Honey Do" list is going to be so. well. recieved. when he gets home, so that I can free up my time to read a magazine, take a nap, do my nails, or join a knitting circle. (You know, things I love and excel at. What are those again? Wait.. Who am I?)
Clearly, this article was not written for SAHmoms of many monkeys with Alpha Male spouses who would rather die than do a load of dishes. I feel I've won a war when he puts his own stinking laundry in the hamper (and not next to it). Apparently I didn't win the lottery of "husbands who are uber helpful." Tis life. I got over it a long time ago. (Or at least that's what I pretend.) But he goes to work, keeps food on the table, loves his kids with all his heart, changes the oil in my van at least once every couple years, has great home improvement skills and can figure out what he doesn't know by watching YouTube vids, and can paint the straightest line you've ever seen in your life freehanded - very helpful when painting corners next to the ceiling. So, it's not all bad.
All quotes, used without permission, can be found here:


  1. Ha! Ha ha ha ha! Wait, are you me?

  2. Oh my freaking goodness. This may be one of the funniest posts in the world! OMG!

    ANd I'm not a SAHM, but it TOTALLY applies to me as well. My kids are older and I DO delegate, but man, you cannot delegate much, even with older kids...

  3. I can sooooo relate here. Well, except for the part about your man painting a straight line. My honey, however, can fix anything and everything with duct tape and super glue. No joke.