Monday, January 12, 2009

Monday's Perfection

Today, I write about how I am the image of perfection in all things domestic, motherly, and wife-ly. I am even tempered, slow to anger, highly organized and motivated, never erring in judgement, and always with a clean house, clean children, and a happy husband. So with that in mind, I will write about things I absolutely DID NOT do this past week, things that DID NOT take place in my household. Feel free to join MckMama's frenzy.

  1. I DID NOT kick Hubba Hubba off the computer to write this post. He had NOT been on the computer for 4 hours already. This did not bother me, in thinking that I would be far down on MckMama's Mr. Linky list. (Update: I'm like #205. That doesn't bug me at all. I am not disappointed, since I was not #8 last week which earned me 400 hits in 2 days. I was not TOTALLY stoked about that, bragging to my "women's group" that I was now "cool.")
  2. I AM NOT still wearing my "pajamas", which would most certainly be a lovely silk set, instead of the underwear and tank top I was wearing yesterday.
  3. I DID NOT see Cheeks come out of the bathroom last week, attempting to put a pad in her pants. She DID NOT have the biggest grin on her face. She would NOT have learned about putting pads in your "pants" from watching me. Especially considering that privacy is NOT an issue in our household.
  4. I DO NOT seem to have an issue with KJ burping in people's faces, including strangers. Or burping out loud in general. She did NOT do this to some poor gal while getting the oil changed at Jiffy Lube. She is our little Miss Manners princess.
  5. I DID NOT have a 2-day argument with Hubba Hubba about cleaning the house. I then did NOT get mad when I woke up to find he had come home exhausted after a 24-hour run (trucker) and had cleaned the bathroom and living room, including cobweb removal. I was not angry thinking he did it as a guilt trip, only to find out later that day that he in fact did it to be nice and helpful.
  6. I DID NOT get really stressed out from the above argument and take my frustrations out on my children. They were not the recipients of a 2-hr screaming jag, instigated by the fact that there were not toys on the floor, every inch of every room. They did NOT finally start to listen to me when I started chucking toys outside picked up and nicely put away their toys.
  7. I was NOT pushed to the brink of sanity by having my children constantly under my feet and constantly fighting. My children always are content to play nicely in another room, not getting under foot. This NEVER happens when company is coming and the race is on for "extreme cleaning".
  8. I DID NOT further the questioning of my sanity by deciding to pull B-Boy out of preschool and "home school" him myself. I don't have enough to do and thought this would be a good project. He loves school and never complains (every school day, before and after) that he doesn't want to go to school, or that he doesn't like being put in Time Out at school.
  9. I an NOT most disappointed that school was canceled today (snow day), not because of school, but because it means that Gym and Pizza Night is cancelled. Which means we are not going to be forced to eat pizza, which we hate, and the kids are not going to have to run around in a gym burning off energy. I also am very excited to have the opportunity to make supper instead of having it prepared for us.
  10. I am NOT considering dressing up my 2 oldest and sending them outside, despite blizzard conditions and near-zero temps, just so they'll leave me alone for 5 minutes, and hopefully expend some of their very bottled energy.

Well, that's enough Monday for right now. I have things to do. Ya know, to keep up my image of perfection.... riiiiiiight. L.O.L


  1. Hi there! Just 'perusing' some of the "Not Me!" posts - I've enjoyed reading a little of your blog and can relate to many of your thoughts with three little ones at our house :) Also, why is it that we think our husbands only choose do housework out of spite? I have gotten mad at my husband for helping on more than one occasion - poor guy-he can't win! (I too am a huge fan of Google!) Blessings, Kristin

  2. I am so loving these 'Not Me' posts. Your is just too funny!!!

  3. I totally have a love/hate relationship with my hubby cleaning. I complain that he doesn't help and then I assume the worst when he DOES help. Hmmm, maybe we'll have to talk about that at the next women's group...