Well, it was definitely NOT ME who discovered that the awful smell emanating from the microwave was in fact not food but a worm that should have been fed to our turtle.
It had NOT been there FOR A WEEK, stuck underneath the turntable, being drug around and run over continuously, stinking up my kitchen.
I most certainly DID NOT think that it should have been crunchy and dried out by now, with all that microwaving it had gotten, instead of juicy and extra disgusting. I mean, really. Doesn't food normally get dried out with too much microwave action???
I DID NOT get talked into tearing down our old, decrepit, safety-hazard of a gazebo by my good friend who was home for a visit, without first consenting my darling hubby. I would never take such drastic measures of home/yard improvement into my own hands, and bust out the Sawzall to chop that baby up. No way!
I DID NOT totally rock the Sawzall.
I have NOT had to be the mean old mom this week so, so many times. So much so that I DID NOT threaten my 4 yr old daughter with leaving her at home if she did not get dressed immediately. I most definitely DID NOT follow through on that very threat when she refused to choose one of the many options of pants, socks, and shoes placed before her, and leave her sorry butt at home (with daddy) while I took her younger brother to preschool this morning.
I certainly DID NOT say to my rockin' spouse (so rockin' that he has not only fixed the front step, but finished chopping up and burning the rest of the gazebo - an all day Sunday project, shampoo'd the living room carpet AND fixed my leaky bathtub faucet - sorry, little brag there, ;D ) that "I'd rather stab myself repeatedly in the eye with a dull pencil that to try to get my 4 yr old to do something". WAY too melodramatic for me. :P
And I WILL NEVER admit to making this post today purely for the chance at entering my name into the hat of an online photography workshop giveaway. I DO NOT need to improve my photography skills.