9 days and counting...

Anyone like Josh Turner? I love his deep, soulful voice. An endearing southern accent helps too. I also like the fact that he's a Christian and includes that element in his lyrics. (Not a prerequisite to my musical tastes, just an added bonus.) You might know his hit song Long Black Train.

Yeah, well I feel like I'm on the Long Black PUKE Train. And I want off this damn ride.

Yes, 9 days ago and counting was the start of us having puke and/or some element of illness in our house. That's a long time. Especially when you're the one and only puke-cleaner-upper. Kong has a pretty weak gag reflex. (Though I have to give him kuddos for some very important times when he has truly stepped up to the plate in this area, and let me tell you, GOD WAS THERE. Because there's no way on God's green Earth that he could have done the clean up if He wasn't.)

This is NO 24 hour bug, people. It last days. I MUST warn you. Stay indoors. Stay away from crouds. Take your Vitamin C. Use a face mask. Wear gloves. Bust out your hand sanitizer. Do. whatever. it. takes.

I'm not a germaphobe in any sort of stretch of the imagination. But if you don't want to get sick, and especially if you have a house full of people, you will want to PROTECT YOURSELF. No joke. A fair amount of exaggeration, maybe, and certainly sarcasm laced, but in the end, I'm NOT. LAUGHING.

And to lighten things up a little, I'll share with you some odd/funny things my kids have said whilst imfirmed.

George (he had a high fever and was having nightmares from it): It's a T-Rex.

Me: Oh, in your dream, huh.

George: I wanna be nice.

Me: You are nice.

George: I want you to take my picture.

Me: You want me to take your picture right now? When you're sick? Not wait until you're better?

George: Yeah.

In the end the batteries were dead on the camera, which seemed to appease him.

Koko (forever the drama queen, the most vocal, by far, of all the sickies):

(after puking on her shirt and me wanting to put another one on her)

I don't want to sit up. I just want to lay down. Noooooooo......

(5 minutes later)

Koko: I don't want to lay here anymore. waaaaaaaa.....

Me: Where do you want to go?

Koko: I want to go somewhere fun. (I had a hard time not laughing.)

(and about every 5 minutes throughout the last 2 days...)

Koko: I'm hungry/thirsty. I want a big glass of lemonade/I want something to eat.

Me: I'm sorry. I can't give you anything. It will make you barf, and that's not going to make you feel better.

Koko: Ahem. Mom! Do you see me barfing? Nooo..

Me: (stunned by the attitude) Uh, yeah, well you may not feel very good, but you don't get to be snotty. And I'm still not giving you anything.

(5 minutes later)

Koko: My tummy hurts. I don't want to puke. Noooo...

Lil' Boots and Cheeks hardly made a peep, on the other hand. Cheeks just layed there. Boots wanted me to hold him, and hold him I did. For 2 straight days. What's a mama to do? My baby needed me. This in stark contrast to his daddy preference as of late. Despite his abnormal, quiet, non-monkey-like streak, he has been having a language boom lately. He, upon having a diarrhea diaper (oh, yeah, did I mention that? Fun!!!) started notifying me by saying, "Yucky, Mommy. Yucky butt." No joke. It's yucky. This morning he came trotting into the kitchen with this cute little smirk smile he gets and said, "Good morning, mommy. Good morning." Clear as day. Melted my heart.

Then he hurled his guts out at the lunch table and I forgot all about that cute moment, and promptly dragged the chair and booster right outside and hosed them down. With the hose. There was no other way I was going to clean that. Man, I thought we were in the clear with him. Guess not. Ugh! Hope the water doesn't ruin my chair, but it's a small price to pay. Blech!

And Dad, I'm very very sorry if you got this bug from us. I truly could not apologize enough. I will weed your garden for as many hours as you demand in penance for passing on this very unwelcome illness.