God knows

I hate when you spend hours writing a long beautiful content-rich post, and it disappears. God only knows where in cyberspace it went. ugh. So I'll try again. But I don't know if I have enough creative genious left to recreate it. sigh.

Deut 1:30 The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes,

Mark 16:7 But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.'"

Some people would argue it's coincidence. Fate. Karma. I don't. I know it's God. Because He knows what we need, before we do, better than we do.

When my babysitter needed to cancel 3 weeks in a row, God knew I really didn't have the money to afford it anyway.

When she called to cancel a fourth week, God knew I needed time at home with my kids, less crazy running, and time to balance the checkbook.

When I recently tithed, with tears because I knew we couldn't "afford" to, God knew he was going to stretch my faith, remind me to have some, and that he had blessings awaiting.

I forgot that he would provide for all my needs. He knew He would enable me to stretch a whole tank of gas two weeks, to live within my grocery budget, to pay the whole electric bill and still have $.48 left over.

He knew there was $45 bucks hiding in a pair of pants I probably wouldn't have worn til spring, $45 that enable me to treat us to beer and pizza. Well, the beer was for me, not the kids, though when I walked in the door, Cheeks did say, "Beer! I love beer!" (And yes, mama needed a beer that day.)

When my babysitter called to cancel for the fifth week in a row, I asked, "hmm... what does God know?"

Well, he knew that I would have not one, but two sick children, who needed a mama and not a grandma-babysitter.

Last week, when I was pondering the fact that I, a pridefully self-less person, had become self-ish, He knew he was preparing my heart for this week.

He knew that I needed extra doses of love and patience to care for them, when I very likely could have been selfishly short tempered.

And honestly it's been the sweetest time of caring for my children.

This spring/summer/fall, while I was freaking and being of little faith, God was taking care of my child, placing him with the best teacher for him. According to my eyes, I didn't believe that. This week,  emblazoned in neon, God showed me that He had gone before, had paved the right path, in spite of me. He gave my son a teacher who was genuinely excited at his progress and success, not frustrated or annoyed at his inability. Her passive, quiet nature was exactly the right kind of nurture for him.

God knows. He has shown me that He knows. Better than I. He does go before me. He knows what I need, and give me opportunities to see that.