Monday, June 11, 2012

Wanted: Toilet

Moms, by profession, talk about excretion a lot. Occupational hazard, I suppose. This is one of those posts.

We need more bathrooms in this house. Seriously, it's ridiculous. Once bathroom for seven people, (one not even yet potty trained) is NOT ENOUGH. Really fun with small children or while pregnant, too.

The timing of my children's bathroom needs is impeccable. If we sit down to a meal, guaranteed at least one child will have to get up, within two minutes of sitting down, to go use the bathroom. I considered charting it to see just how often it really happens, but then I decided that would be gross, and unnecessary work. Who needs more work? Not I!

Another fun fact - you know how ladies can sync their cycles? Yeah, pretty sure my monkeys have synced their cycles, too. Their bathroom cycles. So they all need to go URGENTLY all at once. Nothing like having three people who need to poop, the one who takes the longest got there first, and the two in line are the littler ones who don't do so well at holding their bowels or bladders or whatever the case may be. This makes for a rather panicky situation for all parties involved, including me, since I would be the person cleaning up any disasters. 

Maybe I need to decrease the amount of fiber in their diet. Just a thought.

And of coarse, we can't forget the leave-the-house-have-to-pee-before-arriving-at-destination or the seven different trips to the bathroom while in the W-mart. No wonder it takes me 90 minutes to get in and out of that place. Did I mention that we went on a walk last week? Not two blocks from our house and someone had to go. This particular child has some interesting practices as it is, like waiting til the last possible second before deciding or announcing she has to go and then we have to RUN for it, or when she does have to go, she loses all ability to think, particularly fun - actually, it is funny - when she wakes up and needs to go. I know what the problem is by her characteristic cry and stomping on the floor as she does the pee-pee dance while standing next to her bed. This one requires intervention as she will stand next to her bed stomping until she does in fact pee herself, but that can be avoided by quickly guiding her to the bathroom, but make sure you lift the lid for her because she will sit down without doing that. Not good.

We live in a 1 1/2 story house, and our sidewalls are short. An upstairs bathroom is not an option. But... Recently I've been wondering if their is any way we could add one in the basement. Granted, we'd have to rip up concrete and all. We used to rent a place where the was a freestanding toilet in the basement. Not ideal, but it's better than a port-a-potty and don't think I haven't thought about renting one of those for the summer. I don't know that I want the smell and the flies of that option, though. Plus, my 3-almost-4 yr old is too curious, and I'm not at all interested in fishing out toys or some such thing from that.

ugh. shivers.

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious! In the meantime, you might just invest in a port-a-potty! heehee