Thursday, June 7, 2012

Outspoken. Yep, that's me.

Hello dear, poor, neglected blog. I think about you all the time. Too bad you don't have a voice app for blog posting. Too bad I don't have something that does apps. Something in my brain so all my thoughts could be recorded would be great. Well, maybe not all my thoughts, just the ones I want to blog. I'd settle for voice recognition software in a small pocket-size device, though.

I was talking to my mom the other day about marital woes, which weren't major marital woes, (I was having other woes and navigating how my spouse could assist me), but when you mix two people from different upbringings, different histories, different ways of thinking, feeling, doing, it makes woe. Occasionally. I don't usually talk to my mom about that stuff because I don't want her to worry (she has enough going on, and woes are fleeting), because it's my marriage and I'm an adult, and I just don't feel she's the right person to share that kind of stuff with. (I don't talk about my, ahem, physical marital relationship with her either. Same sort of  'not the right person' thing.) But I just sort of leaked it out, and amidst my frustrations, tears and apologies for it all, I sort of sarcastically asked her if she and my dad ever had those sort of problems in their earlier married years or was it always smooth sailing for them. Did they have those problems of mis-communication and different ways of doing things? (Those probably weren't the words I used but we'll just go with that here. ;D) 

Her response: No, but I wasn't as outspoken as you are.

Ha.      Hmmm.       Interesting.         (long pause for contemplating)

It should be noted that my parents have been married pert near 43 years. A big whoop whoop and holla to that.

For the record, I'm not naive enough to think that *any* relationship is EVER always smooth sailing.

I have done a bit of thinking (before this and since) of what did/do those people who aren't "outspoken," who don't speak up or stand up or express their right better strong opinion do with their thoughts and emotions. Do they suffer in silence? Are they just happier than I am? Am I too dis-contented? Did I marry the wrong person? (NO, I did not. Of this I am completely sure. Totally right for me, even, or especially, when I don't like it. Iron sharpens Iron, right? sigh) Maybe those more quiet people don't have those feelings? Maybe they don't feel the need to speak up? Or feel they have the right to? 

I dunno. Can't relate. That's clearly not me. (insert a little, slight, inner giggle here. ju-u-u-u-u-ust a teeny one)

I find it hard to believe that someone wouldn't have those feelings. But the having and not expressing? Completely unfathomable to me.

Sometimes it's a good thing. Sometimes it's not. :) Either way, I didn't get my name (which means Bold Warrior) by accident. God made me outspoken. So what's a girl to do?

1 comment:

  1. Hi! Nice to kind of meet you! :)

    I'm impressed if you can still communicate with your husband after five monkeys. With only two monkeys of my own, I feel like it takes major skills and patience I am still trying to locate to speak in a complete sentence with my husband these blasted children interrupting...I know it just makes it more fun and challenging and all that, but's enough to make even the quiet ones outspoken..(that's me).